After the Apocolypse
by Trini08
Summary: Dean's life after he goes to Lisa's. Month two through five up.
1. Month one

OK, for the sake of this story, assume that the big fight went down on Sam's birthday; it makes the story more dramatic, lol. And Dean spent a few nights at Bobby's fixing the windshield of the car.

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_On Dean's first night at Lisa's,_ Dean spent almost fifteen minutes crying at her front door. He had no idea how he'd gone the entire drive from Bobby's to her house without crying, but he let it all go the minute he saw her. He couldn't hold it in any more, the deep pain and sorrow over loosing the one person he cared most about in the entire world. After making it to the couch, he cried again on her shoulder while drinking his beer. He cried so hard he thought he would throw up, and she stayed by his side the entire time, whispering that everything would be okay. Dean cried until he fell asleep.

_On Dean's second night at Lisa's,_ Dean didn't cry once. He'd spent most of the day sitting in the kitchen, just thinking. He hadn't said much since arriving the day before and Lisa could see that talking about whatever was going on wouldn't be a good idea right now. Dean slept that night in the guest bedroom, or at least, that's where he spent the night. He couldn't sleep at all, he just kept reliving the fight with Lucifer several days earlier, and how he'd have to see his brother beating the crap out of him.

_On Dean's third night at Lisa's,_ he'd gotten blind drunk after both her and Ben had gone to bed. He'd left the house for the first time in two days, only to go out and buy as much liquor as he could. He drank down all of it that night, sitting in the guest bedroom. He wasn't sure exactly what he wanted from drinking this much. Did he want to die? Did he just want to kill the pain of watching both your brothers fall into Hell? He passed out between bottles of whiskey, and had a dreamless sleep for the first time in months.

_On Dean's fourth night at Lisa's,_ he gave up all hope of sleeping in the guestroom that night, especially after waking up that morning to Lisa slapping him across the face and yelling at him for being irresponsible. He hadn't had any liquor all day; Lisa had refused to give him any and had poured the remainder of what he'd bought down the sink. After hours of tossing and turning, Dean got out of bed and walked to Lisa's bedroom. He cracked the door open and saw her lying in bed, on her side facing away from the door. She looked peaceful but Dean knew she wasn't asleep. He stepped carefully into the room and she shifted position, turning further towards the window. He apologized softly to her for what he'd done the night before. She rolled to face him, but said nothing, only pulling the covers back and patting the bed beside her. He climbed in and curled up next to her. That night, Dean got the best and most restful sleep he'd had in years.

_On Dean's eighth night at Lisa's,_ Dean started to long for more than just sleeping next to Lisa, with her warm body pressed against his side. So that night when he climbed into bed with her, he ran his hand softly down her side and leaned in to kiss her neck. She took a deep breath and told him they shouldn't be doing this, not after what he'd been through in the past two weeks. Dean said nothing, but continued to caress and kiss her. Finally it was too much for both of them and they gave in to the desire that had been building for days. Dean slept peacefully that night.

_On Dean's tenth night at Lisa's, _Dean had sat down for dinner with her and Ben. It had been a week since his getting drunk stunt and though Lisa had frowned at him as he poured himself a drink to have with dinner, she said nothing. Dean sits at the table and doesn't notice the man standing on the sidewalk, below a newly busted streetlight, as he watches them eat dinner. Dean doesn't see the man turn away, hanging his head sadly as he leaves. Later that night, after making love again, Lisa asks Dean to stop drinking. Dean tries to convince her that he's fine, but with one look she manages to shut him up and he reluctantly agrees. That morning by the time he wakes up all the liquor and beer is gone from the house.

_On Dean's eleventh night at Lisa's,_ Dean is in hell, his own personally created hell, having not had anything to drink in twenty-four hours. Lisa helps him as much as she can, but she knows there's not much she can do for him. She wants to take him to the hospital, but he refuses. She cries as she realizes that Dean may actually want this to kill him, she's seen how tough living without his brother has been on him. When he falls into a fit full sleep that night she calls a friend of hers, a doctor.

_On Dean's twelfth night at Lisa's,_ Dean is still feeling like crap, but the medications that Lisa's friend has given him is making him feel slightly better. He stays up late that night, long after Lisa and Ben have gone to bed. He promises Lisa that he won't do something stupid; instead, he sits at her computer and looks up AA meetings. After finding one fore the next morning, he shuts the computer down and crawls into bed with Lisa. She's already asleep, so he just curls up next to her, breaths in her scent and feels her warmth.

_On Dean's fifteenth night at Lisa's,_ he came home from a long day out to find Lisa worried out of her mind. She almost slapped him before she realized that he didn't reek of alcohol. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips before telling her that it was ok, he was sober now. He told her that he'd found a job. Sure, it wasn't much, but if being a mechanic was good enough for his father when he was raising a young family, it was good enough for him, too.

_On Dean's twentieth night at Lisa's,_ he was exhausted. He'd been getting up early to go to AA meetings and then going to work. Ten hour days, five days a week, with a half hour for lunch everyday. Tomorrow was his first day off, the first day since he'd started working there that he could sleep in. He was surprised at how quickly he'd fallen into line in his happy, apple-pie life. It surprised him how easy it was; how relaxing it could be. It felt good to wake up every morning next to someone, and how fulfilling it was to come home to someone every night.

_On Dean's twenty-second night at Lisa's,_ he lies awake in bed, long after Lisa's fallen asleep next to him. Today was the first day since he was five years old that he'd attended church. He had to admit to himself that he was terrified walking into that building this morning, unsure if God would strike him down for trying to go into a church after adamantly refusing to be Michael's vessel. He felt completely out of place there, and was nervous as all hell. He could have sworn once when he glanced around himself, that he saw Castiel out of the corner of his eye, and that he was actually smiling. But when he looked again, there was nothing there. Dean closes his eyes and falls into a restful sleep.

_On Dean's twenty-sixth night at Lisa's,_ Dean goes to bed worried. Lisa has been waking up early every morning for the past few mornings, sick to her stomach. Dean's afraid this is his punishment for his part in the apocalypse, now he has to watch everyone he cares about die. Dean considers leaving, but that will only hurt Lisa more, and if she dies then someone will need to take care of Ben. Dean really, really wants to have a drink, but he knows that he can't do that. He's been sober for fifteen days now, and he can't go back on his promise to Lisa that he wouldn't drink again.

_On Dean's thirty-first night at Lisa's,_ he sits on their bed holding a plastic stick in his hands. Lisa handed it to him after he returned from work that evening and he'd sat down heavily on the bed as she explained what it meant. Lisa was pregnant, again. So many different emotions flew through his mind. First he was scared, then happy, then terrified. He almost cried when he thought about how happy Sam would be to learn that he was going to be an uncle. He looked up at her and smiled. Placing the stick on the bed next to him, he walked up to her and kissed her. He was going to be a daddy; this was possibly one of the best days in his life.

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Please read and review, more to follow, I promise; I actually have a direction for this one.


	2. Month two through five

Ok, next few months up. Don't worry, I will bring Sam in next chapter, with, hopefully, a good explaination of where he's been. And I plan on going back to the counting, somewhat, next chapter. Hope you like it.

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The next few months fly by in a flurry of baseball practices and games, doctor's appointments and birthing classes. Lisa has insisted that Dean attend them with her, because even though she's been through it, he hasn't. Its summer time, and there are cook outs with the neighbors. No one knows that he's an alcoholic, but no one says anything when he doesn't have a beer with his burger or hot dog. Dean finds that he actually likes soda, and even if it makes him sad because the last time he had to drink soda was when he was a teenager, he drinks it to keep his promise.

The days start to run together a little, and he's lost track of how many days it's been since he last saw Sam. He goes to work, goes to meetings, goes to games, goes to the doctors. He and Lisa still aren't married, Dean doesn't think he can. Its not that he's always had a vision of his brother standing at his side when he marries a beautiful woman like Lisa, but the thought of doing it without Sam there is just too much to handle. Lisa explains to friends and neighbors that Dean is her fiancé, even though he's never proposed, and they want to wait until after the baby is born so she can wear a nice gown and not look like a marshmallow.

She's started showing a little by the end of the summer. He sits on their bed and listens as she complains that none of her clothing fits anymore. She throws pants and shirts at him and tells him that it's all his fault. The first time she does it, Dean almost laughs at her, because, to him, this is funny. He wonders almost nostalgically if his parents had the same fights, if Mary yelled at John like this. Or if Amelia and Jimmy went through this when she was pregnant with Claire. The next time, he sits there and almost cries as he realizes that if Jess had lived, that maybe she and Sam would be having this same argument as her body blossomed with their first child. He can't help but think that if he had only not gone to get Sam from school, all of this could have been avoided. He knows that he's lying to himself and that Azazel would have had Jessica killed anyway, and that Sam would have sought him out to get revenge.

Its mid-July when they get to hear the baby's heartbeat and the doctors tell them in August they can find out if it's a baby girl or a baby boy. Dean shakes his head and tells Lisa he doesn't want to know. She understands, knowing that with all the hope he has left, that Dean wants to have a little girl. She knows that he doesn't think he could handle raising a baby boy and that it hurts him to be helping to raise her son, when he himself practically raised his brother. She's heard it on more than one occasion, heard Dean talking to Ben and almost call him by his brothers name. She hears it when he speaks in his sleep, and calls for Sammy.

Fewer things remind him of Sam now, but the things that do hurt three times as much. The other day, Dean asked Ben to help him wash the cars. They started with Lisa's, a modern and practical car. They cleaned it inside and out, getting rid of the trash that's accumulated inside from driving children home from baseball practice and lunches grabbed on the run from the McDonalds in town. When they move to the Impala, which Dean only drives to and from work, they start cleaning the outside. There isn't as much dirt and dust covering it, now that it doesn't drive down strange dirt roads and it doesn't off road in random fields. When they go to clean the inside, Dean finds the empty jugs in the trunk and breaks down. He can't breathe, seeing the objects that they thought would give Sam the strength to fight Lucifer. He knows that below them and the false bottom; all his weapons still sit, untouched for months.

Dean closes the trunk and tells Ben to clean out the back seat. Dean stands outside with a trash bag as Ben deposits similar trash as that found in Lisa's car, wrapper from the last meals that Dean ate with his brother. He smiles, almost fondly, when Ben pulls a bag full of random candy wrappers; knowing this was from the time that the brothers, taking a short moment of rest, had gone to a candy store in a town close to Bobby's and bought all of their old favorites. They had parked the car in the middle of Bobby's junkyard, the two of them in the front seat and Cas in the back. They had practically forced the newly human Cas to try all of them. Dean takes the bag from Ben, flips it over in his hands a couple times before placing it into the trash bag with the rest.

Ben climbs onto the seat, going to the opposite side of the car. Dean is lost in his thoughts of Sam when he hears Ben exclaim that something is stuck. He ducks his head into the car and sees Ben with his hands trying to pull a GI Joe from the ashtray. He chokes out a sob, and tells Ben to stop. When Ben turns to Dean, he sees the tears flowing freely down his face and immediately stops what he's doing. Dean tells him that they've done enough cleaning for one day and that they should go in and maybe his mom will give them some lemonade. Dean stays frozen in his spot as Ben runs ahead of him to the house, still staring at the little army man, stuck in that spot for years. He bats at the tears on his face and turns to the house.

That night, Dean comes out alone to clean out the rest of the Impala. He takes all of the fake ID's and fake credit cards out of the glove compartment. He sorts out the trunk and decides what he needs to keep, just incase he needs to protect Lisa and Ben from something and decides that he's going to take a weekend trip to Bobby's to drop off the rest. Being at Bobby's hurts more than anything he found in the car did. The place is just dripping with memories of Sam. From the fights after Dad died, to the times they locked each other in the panic room. Dean can't even set foot on the stairs to the basement; he only stares at the door with sadness. Dean unloads the trunk with Bobby's help and Bobby offers him some dinner before he leaves. Dean can only shake his head, not willing to let his voice falter by responding and leaves almost as quickly as he arrived. Its ten miles down the road when the sorrow and anxiety finally break him and he pulls over to cry.

When he gets back to Lisa's house the next morning he just crawls into bed with out changing and sleeps all the way to the next day. Lisa isn't too worried; she knows that this must have been hard on him. She knows there is a box in the garage with some random things in it; things she assumes will ward off the evils that have plagued Dean's family for generations. In some of their more restless nights, Dean has told her stories of how his mother's family was a family of hunters like his was. He tells her that he's researched it and that the Campbell's hunted for five generations before Mary and John met. Five generations of people who did the same thing that he and Sam did. She remembers Dean laughing and saying that he thought it was the Winchesters that were cursed, turns out it was really the Campbell's.

Dean is different for a few days after returning from Bobby's, he's distant and sad. Lisa explains to Ben that Dean has lost something very close to him and that things will be like this for a while. Soon enough things return to normal, Ben is back in school and football practices start. Dean actually finds himself enjoying helping Ben learn about football. It's almost like he can teach the kid some of the self defense he learned as a child but not have it be something that destroys his childhood. Dean drives Ben to school in the mornings so that Lisa can sleep in and she picks him up after. It's become a routine that they settle into comfortably. The hiccup in their lives that was the cleansing of all hunting gear from Dean's car and the trip to see Bobby is soon forgotten. Before Dean knows it, it's Halloween and he's helping Ben pick out a costume. He finds a fault in every single monster costume there is out there, knowing what the real thing looks like. He thinks about how if Sam were here, they would be making costumes that looked like the real thing and scaring the shit out of people. Dean almost wishes he'd had that idea as a child; it would have made Halloween a lot more enjoyable to Sam. He takes Ben trick-or-treating around the neighborhood as Lisa hands out candy back at her house. That night Dean lies in bed, his hand resting protectively over Lisa's expanding stomach, he feels the baby inside give a quick kick before he falls asleep.


End file.
